Misspent youth

I have just sat and watched Jonathan Maitland try and solve the problems of our youth today in half an hour.

The programme focused mainly around a young lad called Sonny Grainger from Hull. There are two things against him before we even start, sorry if you're reading this Jo. He has various different ASBO's against him, which so far only seem to have helped his neighbours and not him or his mother. As always in these types of programmes the MP responsible for deciding we should be handing out more and more ASBO's was wheeled out, and again managed to avoid actually answering a question with a straight answer. There was one very interesting chap on there that seemed to speak some sense, sadly I didn't catch who he was or his involvement, if any, with Sonny. But I did feel he made a rather valid point when he said that he thinks that as a nation we are becoming less tolerant of our youth. I think I agree.

As a mother to two teenage sons and also having been a teenager once somewhere in my dark and murky past, I see people all around us making their judgements. I live on an estate made up of family sized homes. Some of these houses have couples living in them, who for whatever reason, don't have children. That's fine, they probably have garden gnomes and I don't. But when you live in an area such as this you have to expect that there will be children, they will want to play and sometimes might even make some noise.

When we first moved here, I was being friendly and chatting to the neighbours, while at my feet my four year old son was playing with a stick in the bed of my neighbour's tree. She very politely asked me if I could stop him as they were going to have their garden professionally landscaped and they didn't want him thinking it would be OK to do it after they'd spent loads of money. They have no children, and ten years later the garden hasn't been touched, needless to say we don't spend a great deal of time in each others company.

Interestingly, we have neighbours on the other side of us that love the boys and never had an issue with them playing in the street, their children are all grown up. But they have always commented that if the football ever went onto their garden or near their cars, our boys would always apologise and ask if it was OK to retrieve said ball. Quite recently however, a family have moved into the close with two young boys that constantly play football, not a problem, they're quite young and so it's safer for them around here. But can you believe the same nice neighbours have managed to get an ASBO threat against the boys? And what does it all come down to? Manners. They run over everyone's lawns, kick the ball against cars, and generally have no respect for anyone or anything.

This brings me back to a point in the programme where Mr Maitland asked Sonny's mother if she felt she was to blame for his behaviour? Now, I happen to know that he has various different disorders and through personal experience can tell you that there isn't always a lot you can do. But in both cases of Sonny and our newly acquired scuffer type neighbours, discipline and a general dollop of good manners will help. Some children really just can not help themselves, they find it very difficult to contain their emotions and even harder to control their actions. I have questioned my parenting skills many many times over the past 13 years, but know what? I now realise that it wasn't anything we did or didn't do, I have two completely different sons and I'm glad. 

All I can hope is that whatever happens, whatever they become in life they always remember to be polite and considerate of others. I find that as I get older they're helping me to stay in touch with the real world of the youth today, that and the fact that I work in a secondary school with over 2000 children! We all have or possibly will, behave badly in our lives I'm sure, but when I was kicking up my heels on a Saturday night, the worry of my mum waiting up for me was ASBO enough.

Oh, and ironically, the neighbours that complained about Master Grumpy spoiling their garden have today had an hole put right in the middle of their lawn.... with a For Sale sign!!!!