Deathly Dawdle

I don't want to shock anyone this evening but today I've been thinking about dying. I think I've spelt it correctly, I do mean shuffling off this mortal coil, not sure who said that, and I don't mean I've suddenly developed a penchant for changing the colour of all my clothes. I'm not too sure why these thoughts have been running around my head today and to be honest they don't worry me. 

I want you to understand, I'm not keen to die anytime soon as I really would like to grow old quite disgracefully, but I know that it's inevitable. I think today's black thoughts probably came about as I listened to the radio and stories about the massive increase in spiders and daddy long legs. I'm not particularly fond of either of these, though I will happily remove the daddy long legs from my home, but where the spiders are concerned, well, that's what Master Musical is here for. I know it doesn't make sense, I'm big and they're little but what also doesn't make sense is when people say, "they're far more scared of you than you are of them" How do you know? They might be the Arnie of the arachnids for all I know, just waiting to web me to death. 

So here we go, I know I'm going to die at some point, but do these critters have the same sense of life and death? Does the adult Mayfly know that it will only live for one day? I think not, or they'd probably avoid car windscreens and playful cats and dogs. And when they die, is there another critter somewhere missing them? I very strangely often worry when I see a dead animal or bird in the road, I just know that Mummy blackbird or Daddy hedgehog could be pacing up and down waiting for their spouse to return.

Some people may be questioning my sanity at this point, in fact I often question it myself! It's that age old problem that some of us humans have, attaching our emotions and feelings on to animals when we have no proof that such emotions exist. I don't care, I'd still rather talk to an animal, here comes Dr Dolittle again, or be kind to them on the off chance that they do understand, rather than make their relatively short time on this planet miserable.

And so to end on a note that is quite a positive one as far as I'm concerned but may be a surprise to others, when I die I really want to go out in style. Not too fussed about flowers or people wearing black, but as Mr Grumpy already knows, I'd love the big, shiny, black horses, with plumes, bit like in Oliver! Don't need the small boy at the front though.... and if my Big Bro is still about and willing, I'd love him to lead the proceedings and make everyone laugh. Needless to say, there'll be no religion, no prayers or hymns and a bloody big booze up afterwards. Gotta spend the money so nobody else can get their hands on it!