And so the time to be dreaded is upon us, no, not Christmas but exams. At this particular moment in time, if you're a teenager, say about 15 or 16 years old, in year 11, was always year 6 in my day... then you must currently be going through hell.
I have pressures on me in a day to day basis, bills to pay, car to maintain, family to shop for and feed, but I honestly think the pressure from schools and parents on our young folk at this time far outweighs the stress of the a fore mentioned.
And it seems it doesn't stop there, as I ran into a parent, not literally, though I would have liked to, with my car, at 30mph when my brakes have failed... sorry. As I was saying, met a parent of a boy that used to go to school with Master Musical, it would seem that he is the most amazing footballer ever and has even had the audacity to turn down a contract from Peterborough United!!! How very dare he? Did my face show enough shock I wonder? I doubt it, I care not. Apparently he's a maths whizz and wants to be a stockbroker... yawn.. I'll just be glad if we get through these exams in one piece and my son makes it into 6th form. If he doesn't, it won't be the end of the world and I'll still love him as much, it will just mean some readjustments, something we're used to in life. I'm not going to add to his pressures, I've told him as long as he does the best he can then that's fine by me. Let's face it, if I look at my family and how happy and successful they are, it didn't involve 6th form or University, just lots of bloody hard work.
In conclusion, I hope you'll accept this short blog as a little show of strength to my baby (not really a baby at all, never has been) and to let him know that we're all behind him whatever happens, good or bad, because that's what parents do, don't pressure, bully, or terrorise, they have many years ahead of them and it's easier to be on their side rather than fighting them!!!
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Wednesday 16 May 2012
For Jacob
Today has been one of those odd days that really has made me sit back and think. I know I have a pretty good life and that compared to some I'm very lucky, but particular things today have made me count my blessings even more.
Sometimes I moan about the ache in my shoulder, or maybe how much my feet ache after wearing high heels all day, or if we're being really serious,the times when I have a bout of eczema or maybe a migraine. Yes, that's about as serious as it gets for me, thankfully. But today I have been reminded of others that have suffered greater misfortune than me. To put it bluntly, the loss of life.
I won't pretend I remembered the date, but I do remember the day. The day I came home to countless messages on my answer machine asking me to call the mum of one of my closest friends. I had no idea why or what it could be about. All I knew, was that one week earlier I had gone on holiday leaving her happily pregnant and ready to be a first time mum and that she was fit and healthy. Sadly, the news I came home to was that she'd been in an horrendous car accident and she had lost her beautiful, baby boy. Words couldn't express how I felt then and still can't now. Unsurprisingly, I remember the train journey to see her in hospital, the traffic being awful from the station, the photos of her beautiful son, the tears we cried together, I hope I was some support to her back then.
So here we are, 15 years later and the thoughts of that day still stir great emotions within me. I have had losses of my own, as have other very close members of my family, but today was to be a day that I suffered another loss, the first of it's kind for me. I lost a student.
I won't pretend we were best buddies or that I knew her better than anyone else, there are plenty at school that will do that. No, I will remember that poor little girl as a fighter. She was barely 4 feet high, had most things in life going against her, but still she laughed, never complained and even helped support her family in their day to day needs. She was a truly amazing little girl and regardless of her religion or the lack of mine, I know that she didn't deserve to die, as neither did my friend's son 15 years ago.
And so while I sat in a room meant only for staff today, (apart from the kids that have no friends so they eat with us), remembering this little girl, my heart broke completely. One of my Autistic boys sat sobbing but wanted to be left alone to digest the news, but one of his peers, another Autistic boy, walked up to him, put his arm around him and said "it's all right mate, I'm here."
I can't remember the last time I have ever felt so moved to tears, just that small gesture that we see so rarely in anyone, let alone teenage boys.
So for anyone missing someone tonight, I hope you'll join me in remembering the good times, think of the funny things that happened, the positive thoughts you shared and most importantly, the future. It's not easy, I've cried today but if we all remember that an occasional hug or a kind word might help, we'll get through together.
Sometimes I moan about the ache in my shoulder, or maybe how much my feet ache after wearing high heels all day, or if we're being really serious,the times when I have a bout of eczema or maybe a migraine. Yes, that's about as serious as it gets for me, thankfully. But today I have been reminded of others that have suffered greater misfortune than me. To put it bluntly, the loss of life.
I won't pretend I remembered the date, but I do remember the day. The day I came home to countless messages on my answer machine asking me to call the mum of one of my closest friends. I had no idea why or what it could be about. All I knew, was that one week earlier I had gone on holiday leaving her happily pregnant and ready to be a first time mum and that she was fit and healthy. Sadly, the news I came home to was that she'd been in an horrendous car accident and she had lost her beautiful, baby boy. Words couldn't express how I felt then and still can't now. Unsurprisingly, I remember the train journey to see her in hospital, the traffic being awful from the station, the photos of her beautiful son, the tears we cried together, I hope I was some support to her back then.
So here we are, 15 years later and the thoughts of that day still stir great emotions within me. I have had losses of my own, as have other very close members of my family, but today was to be a day that I suffered another loss, the first of it's kind for me. I lost a student.
I won't pretend we were best buddies or that I knew her better than anyone else, there are plenty at school that will do that. No, I will remember that poor little girl as a fighter. She was barely 4 feet high, had most things in life going against her, but still she laughed, never complained and even helped support her family in their day to day needs. She was a truly amazing little girl and regardless of her religion or the lack of mine, I know that she didn't deserve to die, as neither did my friend's son 15 years ago.
And so while I sat in a room meant only for staff today, (apart from the kids that have no friends so they eat with us), remembering this little girl, my heart broke completely. One of my Autistic boys sat sobbing but wanted to be left alone to digest the news, but one of his peers, another Autistic boy, walked up to him, put his arm around him and said "it's all right mate, I'm here."
I can't remember the last time I have ever felt so moved to tears, just that small gesture that we see so rarely in anyone, let alone teenage boys.
So for anyone missing someone tonight, I hope you'll join me in remembering the good times, think of the funny things that happened, the positive thoughts you shared and most importantly, the future. It's not easy, I've cried today but if we all remember that an occasional hug or a kind word might help, we'll get through together.
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