Parenthood

So after a reasonably good night's sleep, I have decided to ramble again, not sure if the sleep was from writing yesterday or the lovely pink stuff I drank after a few days of abstinence. Matters not.

So today's little musings are as a result of being a parent, a particular type of parent I think. I am not an expert on this job role and have never claimed to be, I was handed the job purely through luck but will be eternally grateful. There are though some very tough decisions to be made along this road we're travelling together as a family and although people do sometimes ask me for advice, I have never been too proud to ask for help or advice from others when necessary.
I have always felt that "this age" is the hardest, of course "this age" changes day by day, just when you think you have the baby blues banished, along come the terrible two's. Then just when you're on top of those, I think Master Sporty was 15 when we managed that with him, oh no, hang on, maybe not.... I digress, then come the early school years, then starting secondary school and on it goes.

I hope that in general Mr Grumpy and I have done a reasonably good job with our boys and I'm sure it's down to the balance of our parenting skills or as it can otherwise be known, good cop, bad cop. Poor Mr Grumpy tends to get landed with the bad cop role but it seems only fair as he is very good at it! People warned us along the way that we shouldn't try to be friends with our boys, they're our children, not our friends. What a load of rubbish. They are brilliant friends and fantastic sons, it's just making sure we don't blur the boundaries, this is where I think the type of parents we are becomes relevant.

As our boys have grown in to fine young men, so of course have their desires and requirements. Knowing how much rope to give them has been the biggest test of our lives, because of course we don't want them to hang themselves. We have encouraged them in their past times, ferried them wherever necessary and hopefully tried to help them to be individuals and not follow the crowd. So when Master Sporty declared he wanted his ear piercing, naturally I told him that I was against the idea, but when he was old enough to take himself then it was up to him. I also reminded him though, that nearly every other lad that he goes to school with has their ear pierced, would it not be better to be different? His choice and I really don't mind if he does, but is that me being too laid back as a parent or should I forbid it?
Another example was brought home to us last night and has made me question my parenting skills. Master Sporty was invited to a lads night in at a friends house. Alcohol was allowed and so I let him take 4 small bottles of beer as well as some money to club in with the others for a takeaway. Of course he went with very strict instructions of my expectations of his behaviour whilst in someone else's home and that when he'd had his beer, was not to go wandering, especially near the river!
So imagine my surprise when the phone rang at some unearthly hour, to say that all the boys were being asked to leave, as the man of the house had had some of his alcohol taken. Not a problem that he was coming home but could his friend sleep over at ours as he couldn't go home.
Being the parents we are, of course we let the friend stay, what sort of person would I be, leaving a 15 year old out on the streets? Well at this point I can tell you I would have been a happier one, or certainly Mr Grumpy would have been.
It would seem that this friend is not very good at holding his beer and I don't mean with his hand. He obviously also has poor spacial awareness as he managed to completely miss the bowl next to him and vomited all over the floor.
So remember how I said I had a lovely sleep? Poor Mr Grumpy didn't, he was up until after 2am clearing up.
Also remember I said the friend couldn't go home? It would seem the reason was because his parents were asleep. Really? So were we until you rang to come home and then your orally artistic friend started decorating the bathroom and your bedroom floor!

So the question remains, are we too soft for letting our son do the things that make him happy? Or are we too soft for allowing his friends to stay over when really they could and should have gone home? I'm not sure there's an easy answer to it and I'm pretty sure there's no right or wrong answer, all I know is that if either of my boys are going to make decisions to do something, whether I like it or not, I'd rather that they were in the safety of our home, knowing that we'll always be here for them.

Be aware though, I do have a tolerance level and clearing up puke is just over that level, so don't bring your pukey friends here again, next time get him to wake up his obviously very strict parents that wouldn't have approved of him being drunk!

Enjoy your weekend people.